Nat and Cassandra, the main characters in The Rock Star’s Wife series, have sex with great frequency whenever he’s not on the road. Is their sex life typical of the average American? As it turns out, it isn’t. Let’s take a look at American sex lives.
First, I must caution you that although these percentages and statistics came from scientific studies, they are just that ‒ percentages and statistics. What is normal varies from couple to couple, and there is no normal that can be applied to everyone.
Second, I must also caution that there is no way of verifying whether people tell the truth in anonymous surveys. Sex in many ways still is viewed as taboo, and we live in a society that encourages male promiscuity while simultaneously encouraging women to stay pure. People are embarrassed to discuss their sex lives. Having said that, the surveys are researchers only source of information.
How Often are Americans Having Sex?
The average person in a committed relationship has sex two to three times a month
Four factors affect how often people have sex:
- Age
- Health
- The relationship
- Responsibilities such as work, chores and child rearing
The average person in a committed relationship has sex two to three times a month, according to 2022’s General Social Survey. Still that average is only 21 percent of people surveyed. A total of 37 percent had sex between never and once a month, and 42 percent had sex between once a week and three times a week.
Increased frequency doesn’t necessarily make people happier, the researchers found, because increased frequency can cause a decease in desire and enjoyment.
According to the National Survey of Family Growth, 73 percent of people had one sexual partner over the course of the past 12 months. The average number of sexual partners in a lifetime for people ages 25-49 was 2-4 partners for women and 15 or more for men.
For older age groups, 88 percent of men and 72 percent of women between 44 and 59 years old are sexually active. Between 57 and 72, this drops to 72 percent of men and only 45 percent of women.
Favorite Sexual Positions
People engage in a variety of sexual acts. In order of most to least frequency, they are masturbate alone, penile-vaginal intercourse, received oral, gave oral, masturbate with a partner, and anal.
Which brings up an interesting question: what are people’s favorite sexual positions”
Since the series focuses on women’s experiences, so will we. Women’s favorite positions are cowgirl/female superior, doggy-style, missionary and 69, according to a survey by Superdrug Online Doctor.
Cowgirl was the position that caused women to reach orgasm the fastest. They also reach orgasm quickly and easily with sex toys. Nearly one-third of women got a big O from them. Other orgasm inducers were dirty talk, watching porn with a partner, anal sex and BDSM.
Women feel the sexiest wearing lingerie followed by dirty talk with their partner, BDSM, role-playing and being spanked.
What do people fear in bed? Women’s top fear is not being flexible enough while men’s top fear is the possibility of hurting their partner.
Sex and the COVID-19 Pandemic
Researchers learned that during the COVID-19 pandemic many people’s sex lives changed. Not quite half, 46 percent, reported having more sex while 19 percent reported having less sex. Why the difference? For many people sex is a way to blow off stress. For others, being stressed makes it difficult to get in the mood.
“The world around us was so challenging. It was scary,” Justin Garcia, Kinsey Institute executive director, told USA Today. “There was an infectious disease that had become a deadly pandemic. There were economic implications for that. People were staying home from work, from school. Those aren’t any of the ingredients that we know from decades of research that are conducive to sexual interest.”
For people with long-haul COVID-19, there are mental or physical affects that prevent sex or make it undesirable. Women were more likely to have psychological concerns while men had physical issues such as erectile dysfunction.
Here’s the 4-1-1
This blog is a companion piece to Sex & Surprises available in eBook, paperback and hardcover. Cassandra Hardwick wouldn’t trade having her globetrotting husband home for anything, but will their barely tested parenting plans hold up when a new baby gets added to the mix? Buy now.
To listen to the songs mentioned in The Rock Star’s Wife series, follow The Rock Star’s Wife on Spotify.
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