Victorian mourning rituals dictated all aspects of behavior. They also lead to some interesting inventions such safety coffins and mourning portraits.
We live in a day and age where sex tapes make people celebrities, and mortality makes people uncomfortable. There was once a time when the opposite was true. People were aware of the shadow of death, and mourning was a public activity. Their sex lives, on the other hand, were never spoken about in public or private.
“Rules and regulations of what was proper were decided in every aspect of life, including that of proper death procedures and funeral rites,” Victorian Era says. “It was considered quite a scandal if any of the rituals were broken.”
Funeral parlors were not yet common, although the profession of funeral director existed. It wasn’t until the 1890s that “people began to see the importance of what many viewed as the ‘modern funeral,’ and more people accepted the practice of moving a funeral from the home ‘funeral parlour’ to a professional setting,” the Funeral Source says.
Dead were kept at home until they were buried, and embalming also took place in the home. It wasn’t until after 1890 when embalming was performed offsite.
Family and close friends kept the body company and attended to the needs of the bereaved. Bodies were dressed in the clothing the person wore in life and were made to look as peaceful as possible. Crepe decorated doors or door knobs and served a specific purpose. It told visitors that the household was in mourning and the doorbell should not be rung nor should anyone knock. Visitors were to remain quiet and respectful at all times. Also as a sign of respect, lighting was dimmed, and mirrors and windows were covered.
The Funeral
Before the funeral, only close friends and family members were to call, but others could send notes or flowers. Close family and friends arranged the funeral.
Invitations were needed, and it was a breach of etiquette to be invited to a funeral and not attend. Interment was private if the immediate family requested it.
Funeral services began in the home before moving to the church. The casket was closed at home and never again opened. Women were thought too emotional to attend church services and remained at home.
Victorian pall bearers were always close in age to the deceased, even if the deceased was a child.
Strict Dress Code
Victorians had a specific dress code for mourning. The rules dictated not only wardrobe, but what hats, gloves and jewelry could be worn. Articles in fashion magazines instructed women on how they could dress stylishly and still abide by the rules. Mourning dress was black, and people gradually returned color back into their wardrobes. Why black? It was symbolic of sorrow and told the world the wearer was sorrowful without her saying a word. Brightness was seen as disrespectful to the dead.
Part of the economy centered on mourning with businesses specializing in clothing and black crepe.
The amount of time a person spent in mourning was determined by the relationship to the departed. Wives, for example, were expected to wear mourning dress for two years, but a husband only needed to mourn for a year.
Rules of Behavior
There also were rules for how the bereaved could and could not behave in society. How many or how few rules depended on the family’s stage of mourning. Deep-mourning was followed by half-mourning. In the early days of deep-mourning, many people remained in seclusion and didn’t leave home for any reason.
Deaths in your spouse’s family were mourned as if they were in your own. Servants wore mourning dress for their employer’s family.
During the mourning period, all cards or stationary sent by mourners was decorated with a black border. It also was common to send memorial cards to friends and relatives who did not hear about the loss through a newspaper death notice.
Mourning rituals during the Edwardian period relaxed somewhat.
- Bereaved women were allowed to attend funerals.
- The rules for mourning dress eased, especially for women. A wife could now enter half-mourning after 21 months, and deep-mourning clothing wasn’t as heavy.
- Wives could enter society again after three months, but were not permitted to dance until after 12 months.
- Mourning cards were no longer sent.
Death Photography
Post-mortem photography did not survive the Victorian era. These photographs (also known as death photos, mourning portraits or memorial portraits) were, as the name implies, taken of a deceased person.
They were popular from the invention of photography until around 1900 when it became possible for ordinary people to own a camera. In some families, the death photo was the only photograph a family would have of their loved one. It was meant to be used as a fond reminder of a loved one, not to provoke sadness.
“Imagine a time when families didn’t own a single photo or painting of their loved one. The childhood mortality rate of the Victorian era was particularly high,” Post-Mortem Photography says. “Also, travel was more difficult for mourners, so the photographs allowed distant family members to see their passed loved ones in the event they were unable to attend the funeral.”
Bodies were arranged as if they were alive, often posed with living family members. Other photos featured bodies in bed surrounded by flowers, and infants and children often were in their coffins. In many photos, the deceased do indeed look alive, but in others there is something a bit creepy about seeing eyes in a blank stare or limbs hanging awkwardly. To mimic life, the deceased was posed using props that kept the body upright. Eyelids were either propped open or eyes were painted on. Photographers developed tricks to assist them in their work. They experimented with lighting and photo retouching.
“Place the body on a lounge or sofa, have the friends dress the head and shoulders as near as in life as possible, then politely request them to leave the room to you and aids, that you may not feel the embarrassment incumbent should they witness some little mishap liable to befall the occasion,” a photographer said of his task in 1875.
The Safety Coffin
The fear of being buried alive was common before the advent of modern medicine. So common was the fear that it was a favorite topic of horror writers. In the real world, this fear lead to the development of the safety coffin.
In 1817, it was estimated one out of every 1,000 people was buried alive. Nearly a century later, in 1905, William Tebb, founder of the London Association for the Prevention of Premature Burial, published his research. According to Tebb, he had evidence of two cases of people awakening while being embalmed, 10 cases of people being dissected while alive, 149 people being buried alive, and 219 people nearly being buried live.
The coffins took many forms:
- Coffins with a glass lid. If the person was still alive, their breath would fog the glass.
- A rope attached to the deceased’s wrist that rang a bell on the surface to alert others if the deceased was, in fact, buried alive.
- Feeding tubes to ensure someone buried alive did not starve before rescue.
- Viewing tubes that allowed people on the surface to monitor the deceased to be sure they were really dead.
- Air tubes to prevent the buried person from suffocating.
- Escape hatches and ladders to the surface.
Despite all these innovations, there are no known cases of a safety coffin saving someone. There are, however, stories of people who awoke from a coma or other illnesses in their coffins before burial.
World War I Changed Mourning
World War I brought a quick end to the elaborate rituals. Circumstances often prevented the old rituals from continuing. They were no longer practical, and some people felt they were inappropriate during wartime.
Rules for women’s clothing were once again simplified. The mourning period for a husband shortened to 18 months, but the period for brothers, sons and nephews was extended. As the rules relaxed, people were able to decide according to their individual preference how intensely they wanted to mourn. Still, into the 1920s, it was customary to wear black.
This article is part of the reader's guide for The Unmarriable Kind by Melina Druga. The historical romance follows Lucretia as the school's new headmaster challenges her beliefs on marriage.