two men shaking hands

In Rock Star Romance, we see Cassandra’s perspective on Nat meeting her parents for the first time, and not just her parents.  It’s the entire extended family gathered at Costas’ Place for Christmas.  In Holiday Homecoming, we see Nat’s perspective on the same event.  This begs the question:  Are there tips for meeting a date’s parents?

“For most couples, meeting the parents is the first serious step in a relationship,” How Stuff Works says.  “No longer are you casually dating ‒ you’re crossing the threshold into long-term expectations. And if you do hope to be with this girl for a long time, her parents will also be part of your life, whether you like it or not.”

The website goes on to point out that if your girlfriend’s family is culturally different and also traditional, it’ll be difficult for you to gain their approval.  Perhaps the article’s author met the Economos family.

Six months is the average length of time a couple dates before meeting each other’s parents, relationship therapist Jaime Bronstein tells Mind Body Green, although the timing varies from relationship to relationship.  You should do it when you feel ready and when you feel the relationship will be long-term.

How to Prepare

family hugging

Get to know your date’s family through him or her

Your partner should help you prepare by explaining his or her parents’ expectations.  You should also know a bit about their likes and dislikes, where they work, etc., from previous conversations with your partner.  This information will be helpful to find common ground and engage in conversation.  You should also know how to properly pronounce names.

At the same time, it’s not a job interview.  You don’t need to have prepared answers or know everything there is to know about your date’s parents’ lives.  At the same time, it’s good to know what you’re going to say when asked about things such as goals, your career, your past.

Dress respectfully, but still be yourself.

“Remember, you are trying to impress someone that is significantly older,” Healthy Framework says.  “That means they’re going to be less impressed by bling and style and more impressed by showing class and professionalism.”

The Main Event

young couple hugging older couple

Be on your best behavior when meeting your partner’s parents

When you meet your date’s parents, be an authentic, yet well behaved, version of yourself.  Mind your manners, avoid swearing, don’t drink heavily, avoid jokes, and avoid public displays of affection.

Go with the flow as far as conversation goes and pay attention.

Finally, remember it’s normal to be nervous.  Your date’s parents are probably nervous.

“Meeting the parents of your loved one can be one of the most nerve-racking experiences of your lifetime,” Guy Counseling says.  “You’ve fallen in love with someone and you guys have decided to test out the waters with your parents, but there’s no getting around the awkwardness of this particular moment.”

And if Nat can ace his first meeting with Daria and Demitrios Economos, you can make your date’s parents like you.

Here’s the 4-1-1

This blog is a companion piece to Holiday Homecoming available in eBook, paperback and hardcover.  Set during the events of Rock Star Romance, this wintry interlude in the Rock Star’s Wife series follows two couples wrestling with family drama in the midst of holiday cheer. Buy now.

To listen to the songs mentioned in The Rock Star’s Wife series, follow The Rock Star’s Wife on Spotify.

For more information on the licenses mentioned on this page, visit https://creativecommons.org/about/cclicenses/.

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