Wedding Traditions and Fashions

Dating, as we know it, came into existence in the 1920s, a direct result of World War I and its effect on society. Before this couples courted.

Women were old enough to enter into a courtship when they were 17 or 18 years old. They also began attending adult social functions and making social calls with their mothers.

Courtships began after a conversation proceeded by a proper introduction. Courtship, like most things during the Victorian and Edwardian eras, came with many rules. These rules included:

• A woman could not introduce herself to a man nor could she speak to a man without proper introduction.
• If two people were of different social classes, the person from the higher social class could choose to ignore the other. Marriage outside of social class was discouraged.
• A man could not court a woman without first asking her family’s permission.
• Women could not leave the house to meet men without having chaperones and asking their mothers’ permission.
• A chaperone also needed to be present whenever a man visited a woman’s home.
• The courting couple was not allowed to touch until after engagement and even then it was limited.
• A man asked a woman’s father for permission for her hand in marriage.
• The couple was allowed some alone time while engaged, but only for things like going for a walk. They were also permitted to hold hands and might even sneak a kiss.
• After engagement, the couple was introduced to each other’s families.
• An honorable man never broke an engagement.

Wedding Fashions

As the new century dawned in 1901, fashion was quickly changing.  Hemlines would rise while necklines would fall, and dress styles began to hug a woman’s body.  Wedding fashion was transitioning from the 1890s.  Dresses had puffy sleeves and high, stiff necklines, and the wedding party often wore large hats.

Not everyone could afford to purchase a dress that would be worn only once.  A suit or a special-occasion dress could be worn again, stretching the bride’s clothing budget.

Empire-waist dresses made a comeback about 100 years after they first debuted, but unlike other special occasional dresses of the era, wedding dresses still maintained high necklines and long, tight sleeves.

Veils were made of lace and supported by tiaras, ringlets of flowers or mob caps.

Bridesmaids often wore pastel shades unlike earlier decades where they wore white like the bride.

Female members of the bridal party accessorized with jewelry.

Doris G. M. Colquholn on her wedding day, 1911. Public domain. Item held by John Oxley Library, State Library of Queensland, Australia.

Wedding Traditions

Wedding fashions may have changed a great deal since 1914, but wedding traditions have been fairly consistent over time.  Here are some examples:

• Engagement rings: Engagement rings became popular for the first time in the 19th century.  Rings didn’t necessarily feature a diamond like today’s rings, and could be other precious gems and pearls.
• Bouquets: Bouquets were large, although the height and width varied depending upon the year.  Flowers were accompanied by a train of flowing ribbon and maidenhair fern.
• The Wedding Reception: Receptions were typically held in early to mid-afternoon, following a morning wedding.
• Wedding Gifts: In affluent families, gifts were put on display the day before the wedding.  No matter social class, not buying the couple a gift was considered a breech of etiquette.
• Honeymoons: For those who could afford it, a long honeymoon was commonplace.  The location was generally kept secret and wasn’t revealed until the couple’s return.
• Second weddings: Weddings in the era could be grand affairs.  Second weddings were much simpler.

Marriage

A typical engagement lasted anywhere from six months to two years.

Many marriages were not the result of love. Instead they were a sort of business deal that protected both parties from scandal or ensured their financial futures.

Upon marriage, a woman became her husband’s property and sacrificed her autonomy.  Her finances and property became her husband’s, and she lost many legal rights.

World War I necessitated the speeding up of many courtships. Soldiers married their sweethearts while on leave or before departing for the front.  Other soldiers met and married women from foreign countries. At the end of the war, for example, Canada transported home approximately 300,000 soldiers and medical corps members along with 54,000 wives and children.

A Surplus of Women

Unfortunately, not every story had a happy ending. In Great Britain, the war left a surplus of 2 million more women than men. Only one in 10 would marry. This cruel realty forced a large percentage of women to abandoned their hopes and dreams of love, marriage and children.

The rest lived lives of solitude and loneliness or became lesbians.  The competition for any remaining bachelors was stiff, and a number of women entered into sexual relationships in the hopes it would lead to marriage.

“Nearly all the men who might have married you have been killed,” one headmistress told her students. “You will have to make your way in the world as best you can.”

For women who were trained from childhood to be wives and mothers, this no doubt was a frightening thought.

Visit Hettie’s World

This blog is a companion piece to Melina Druga’s WWI Trilogy, available in eBook, paperback and hardcover.

Book 1: Angel of Mercy

The first installment in a spellbinding trilogy centered around Canada’s involvement in World War I follows a privileged young newlywed to the fraught medical encampments of the Western Front.  Buy now.

Book 2: Those Left Behind

Told through a series of epistolary vignettes, the second novel in Melina Druga’s World War I trilogy traces the lives of the Steward and Bartlette families as they contend with their children’s and siblings’ wartime absences.  Buy now.

Book 3: Adjustment Year

The stunning conclusion to Melina Druga’s World War I trilogy traces Hettie’s attempts to reacclimate to civilian life in the aftermath of the conflict.  Buy now.